*31C3 opening title video with music*
Someone: Geht doch!
*applause*
*sound of steps on the floor, breathing*
erdgeist: Good morning and welcome everyone to the largest
hacker conference in the free world.
*cheers and applause*
Geraldine de Bastion: Good morning Hamburg, hello world! Wow, oh my goodness,
look at all of you here! My name is Geraldine, I first started attending
this Congress all the way back in 1999. And I remember so well
walking into the dark, smoky central hackspace, and getting into all these
random and really, really exciting conversations. And I also remember
feeling so much more welcome than I ever thought would be possible.
But I never thought I would be standing here today opening the show and this is
such a huge honor. Thank you very much!
*cheers and applause*
erdgeist: My name is erdgeist and I first attended Congress in 1998
which is one year prior to Geraldine… …what a noob!
*laughs* but I now officially attended
more Congresses than I didn’t. Which means that now I’m old.
And knowing all the love and enthusiasm that went into preparing this conference
I’m so incredibly proud to see how everything worked out, how you
got together, how this conference just blows everyone away. How you
showed up and made this work. Without anyone telling you what to do.
Just amazing.
Geraldine: So I know what you’re all thinking. We’re gonna spend the next
half an hour selling you a show that you’ve already bought tickets for. And
this is kind of true. However we feel that we have hopefully something interesting
to share with all of you here. But this also goes out to all the people who
can’t be physically with us today, for various reasons. Watching from their
telescreens at home. So whether you are watching by yourself, in front of
your device, or you’re hosting a Congress-Everywhere event,
and watching together with like-minded people, and whether you’re
in Dar-es-Salaam, Tel Aviv or Chemnitz – welcome to the show!
*cheers and applause*
Now, last year when Tim did this opening the gravity of the situation
that we’re all facing, in the post-Snowden era was of course apparent to everybody
here in the room. But what is really important is that we manage to transport
our message out of these walls. To the general public. And people finally
started listening to what people in this room had to say.
erdgeist: We know the services in the world are still out of control.
And sometimes it’s a little frustrating that things are not moving faster.
But we need to keep pushing towards a common goal. We need to keep
our doors open to those that we want to reach with our message.
Last year we were partying even though we figured out that people, smart people
from our ranks, were working for the bad guys.
Geraldine: Last year we were partying even though the complexity what was happening
was so deafening, and we couldn’t even find a Congress motto
to express what we were feeling.
erdgeist: But when we learned that the Google engineers started to raising
their middle fingers towards the NSA, and started encrypting their server network
communications we understood that this is not the end, but a new dawn.
Geraldine: And when we learned that Whatsapp of all clients started
introducing end-to-end encryption, making it even more secure to use than De-Mail
we learned that developers…
*laughter and applause*
…developers around the world weren’t standing back in shock. But rolled up
their sleeves, and got to work. A New Dawn.
erdgeist: And when we learned that you guys finally got over your differences
and started the Letsencrypt project we understood
that the community is not just standing by. And seeing our community
and the internet being split on by NSA and NHC… hehe,
and the British secret service. *laughs*
*laughter*
But you were working on it, and came together, and started fixing what
we’ve been left with by the Snake Oil cert vendors of the world,
and the secret services. And you made it work, and I think that’s a New Dawn.
And I’m very confident to say that this community, obviously,
rolled their sleeves up, and made for once and for all clear that it’s
not the shady spy agencies with their ridiculous budgets ruling the internet
but we are. And it’s a New Dawn!
*cheers and applause*
Geraldine: So now we would like to know who’s first Congress is this?
If you’re here for the first time can you give me a sign of hands?
Ah, so many people! Huh! erdgeist: Amazing!
Geraldine: That’s why you’re all here so early! Now I…
erdgeist: Everyone take a good look at them! Because…
*cheers and applause*
…it’s because of them that we need to explain everything from square one.
*laughter* *laughs on his own bad joke*
Geraldine: But we would like to say thank you for that! For 2 reasons:
a) we’d like to say thank you because it’s so important that we know how to explain
everything from square one. And (b) it’s because of you guys that
our community keeps growing every year.
erdgeist: And the community keeps growing because there’s all those tiny gems
like the “Chaospatinnen” project. Which is our interpretation of
how a mentors program is supposed to work.
Geraldine: So this is how it works. This year there are about 30 ‘Chaospatinnen’
taking care of 100 new attendees called “Patenkinder”. They could apply for this,
and it wasn’t just a random selection, but the ‘Chaospatinnen’ actually sat down
and made sure they matched their interests with the ones of the people that they
would be mentoring. And they’re basically gonna help show them around
for the next 4 days, show them all the hidden secrets of the Congress,
help them put together an advanced bucket list and make sure they get
the most out of this first Congress experience.
erdgeist: And one of those ‘Chaos-Kinder’ is Elia. And he wrote
to the chaospatinnen mailing list. Said that over the last years he’s been
fascinated in technology. And hacking. But he could never afford coming
to the Congress. And now, for his 18th birthday his parents gave him
a ticket to this show, and a ticket to Hamburg. So welcome, Elia!
*applause and cheers*
Geraldine: We’d also like to welcome Alex. Alex is a really good example why this
program is so important. She’s studying math, and she’s studying cognitive
sciences and is currently working on her PhD. And she was yet never really sure
whether she was supposed to come to Congress, whether this is the right place
for her. Because she didn’t feel like a real hacker. So we’d like to say:
“Welcome, Alex! You’re perfect here!”
*applause*
And we would like to welcome one other ‘Chaos-Patenkind’ who’d like to
stay anonymous. But she confessed to us that she used to have to spend
the holidays eating so much unhealthy food, and celebrating with her family,
and fixing computers. We just wanna say: we know what that’s like.
We feel with you! Welcome!
*laughter, applause and cheers*
And we hope all of you have a great time. There’s a lot in store including
a field day, a field trip, and even going backstage and getting to visit TIM.
erdgeist: Hehe, yes, they’ve an audience with the TIM. And they’re going to see
NOC, and they’re going backstage to the party. I’m so incredibly jealous,
so I think next year I will apply for the ‘Chaospatinnen’ project, too.
Just… just for the trip. And what ‘Chaospatinnen’ is
for our new participants the ‘Press Angels’ corps is,
well, for the press. So if you come to the entrance and say
you’re a member of the press you get your complementary Press Angel.
Who will show you around, help you get a feel for the conference,
show you all the nice spots and make you familiar with the
photo policy of this conference. And… *laughter and applause*
…this service is of course not mandatory because, well,
we are not in North Korea here… *laughs*
Geraldine: Don’t make jokes about North Korea! You never know what’s gonna happen
these days if you do that! *laughter*
*loud distorted sound changing to lower frequencies*
erdgeist: Oops! Geraldine: I thought that might happen!
erdgeist: *laughs* Damn!
So we know that there’s 2 students from the University of Kiel here
*laughter*
who have been getting their… I think I go over there, that’s just closer
to my computer. So we have 2 students from the University of Kiel here
whose Prof sponsored them a ticket for this show. And I think this is
a nice development. I think that all universities in Germany should make sure
that their students get the best education possible. So…
*Geraldine laughs* *applause*
And you may believe it or not. Like 16 years ago I started out
like over 1000 of you last year and this year as a Chaos Angel.
I’ve been sitting in my first Congress through the mandatory
‘TCP/IP for beginners’ lecture. And I would never have imagined that,
like 16 years later I would be standing in front of 3000 people and cracking jokes
about my ‘TCP/IP for beginners’ lecture and most of you would actually get it.
Which is rather amazing! And, well, I feel jealous for the ‘Chaospatinnen’…
no, for the mentees! Even though I did not have the head start Chaospatinnen project
provides today I still felt very welcome, with the Chaos Angels and, well,
came back year after year. And… now.
About those Chaos Angels: they’re the integral part of what makes
this conference work. And you over there, at the camera, what’s your name?
Mario. Mario is a camera angel. And he’s
helping at the conference. But I’m standing here getting all the good vibes,
getting all the fame. And this is why I’m standing here! But this guy…
*laughter* has been paying full price.
And he’s still doing his shifts to make this conference work. And I want everyone
to give him a warm round of aplause!
*applause*
I would also say that if you go outside and meet an angel just go and say
thank you, and, well, actually do mean it! And if you’re being blocked from
entering the lecture hall you want to attend just remember that the angel
is volunteering, too. And, don’t be grumpy.
Don’t be angry. Just say thank you, maybe turn around and watch the stream
on the back of the hall. I would even go so far to say:
make today Hug-an-Angel Day! *laughter*
Geraldine: Consensually, of course! *laughter*
So it’s all the ‘Chaospatinnen’, all the Chaos Angels that we’d like to say
thankyou to. But we’d also like to give a shoutout to all the hundreds
of volunteers that have made this event possible. It’s all the people that
have set up the… yeah, the OC’s bringing the internet, the DECT
and GSM phone networks. It’s all the people who have put the schedule together
for you, behind the cash desks, at the entry points, and also all the people
that are doing translation service. We’re actually gonna translate
all the German talks into English for you. And a whole bunch of the English talks
into German, too. And you can even make requests which talk should be translated
via Twitter. So it’s really all these people that are making this possible.
And let’s give them a big round of applause.
*applause*
So. I am assuming that with around 200 people
giving over 150 lectures over the next 4 days a couple of people presenting
are in this room right now? Can you give me a sign of hand if you’re gonna be
speaking on this or another stage in the next days?
erdgeist: Yeah, there are some! Geraldine: Okay everybody, take
a good look at these hands going up. In order for these people to be able
to give their talks at least 2 other submissions were turned down. And so
you better do a really, really god job. Otherwise you gonna have the wrath
of about 30.000 people turned upon you. No pressure, no pressure! No – really!
We would like to say thankyou to all of you as well, for coming here and sharing
your knowledge. And we’d also like to say thank you for all of you who handed in
suggestions, whose ideas weren’t selected this year.
erdgeist: Seriously, the number of rejected talks this year
was heart-breaking. You know that we organized the content
in tracks. Five different tracks, each being curated by a different track team.
And in some of the track teams the ratio between accepted and rejected talks
was close to 1:5. So if a lecture was not accepted that doesn’t necessarily mean
it was bad. But the competition was so brutal. So, thank you for your submission
and – I know it’s hard to ask to maybe just go and make your lecture
a lightning talk. There’s still some slots free. Or present the topic
you wanted to present in a workshop. And this year
in fixing up the Fahrplan we had some help from you guys.
We’ve had that amazing tool where everyone of you
could just submit their preferences and say what lectures they want to see.
And we used that data wisely to make sure that for most of you
you could see your favourite talk while not missing another talk
you wanted to see. Well, except for that one guy.
Geraldine: What? erdgeist: Yeah, we’re using heavy data mining
and number crunching to make sure that, for that poor fellow’s guy
all the lectures he wanted to see there was at least 2 conflicting lectures.
So, you know who you are. *laughter*
Just kidding!
We’re still using the data from the tool, so if you keep submitting the preferences
for your lectures we will know which lectures we need to stream outside,
and the translation team is also using that numbers, to see what the interest
in those lectures are.
Geraldine: Okay, well. Hopefully that was gonna make all the rest of you enjoy
the show. Sorry for that one person! But in case this isn’t just hard enough
with all this content going round: you’ve also thrown in over 100 workshops
into the mix, all completely self-organized. There gonna be
dozens of lightning talks, over 230 assemblies on anything from
smartcard hacking, 3D printing… There’s even gonna be a cocktail bot.
erdgeist: Yes, and to my delightment there’s a coffee nerd area in the 4th floor
I will definitely be hanging around in. *laughs* Yes!
Geraldine: Applause for coffee nerds! *small applause*
erdgeist: And I recommend to enjoy the crazy joyride that has been set up
for you outside in the hall. There’s so much exhibitions. There’s the
second installment of the ‘Seidenstrasse’ which is an amazing construction.
It’s last rehearsal before the Camp. And I recommend
taking a dip into the ‘Bällebad’! Don’t forget to bring your towel.
Nah! Tss! And… *laughter and applause*
This all has been set up to fulfill the promise that has been
at the core and in the name of the conference from the very beginning.
It’s… communication!
Geraldine: So we dare you: go out, go out here and talk to some random stranger
about her project. Go and attend a lecture whose title and abstract
you do not understand. Go and tinker with somebody’s installation.
Try not to break it if possible. And just go out and have fun, and meet people.
Whatever you do don’t go sit in a corner and wait for something to happen.
If you really don’t have anything better to do why don’t you use this very network
to retrieve some classified information you have access to?
erdgeist: Using an insecure connection, of course. And incidentally there’s
an ethics hotline on this conference, again. You might call to, well,
get some feeling if it’s alright what you’re doing.
And I think it’s fair to say that I’m proud of this community
because we’ve built ourself what we think libraries should look like.
We do have that hot shiny new media.ccc.de where the lectures of this conference
are being streamed. And where on average 1 lecture
is being posted every 3 days. From conferences like this one.
For everyone to download and learn, and watch. I think it’s fair to say that
with this conference we’ve built what we think universities should look like.
Teaching and learning as equals, and taking the presenter of the show
afterwards to a hands-on workshop. Well, enjoy a Tschunk
at the ‘Bällebad’, together. And no matter what the social,
or religious, or sexual background is, we’re communicating
as equals which is what makes this community cool.
Geraldine: Yes, and the strength of this community…
*applause*
…the strength of this community is also apparent in the way
that you support each other. Even if it is just by the little things. Now there’s
a lot of support from the CCH. But this is still very, very pricy. So basically
we can use every penny that you’re willing to give us to organize this event. And
we’d like to point out how fantastic it is that over 25% of all of you
chose to buy Supporter Tickets and not just regular tickets. Now, we know
that 25% is far above the ratio of people attending the Congress who are actually
super rich and wealthy. So that means that you guys went out of your way
to spend a little extra, and support other people who’re not so wealthy
in this community. And we’d like to say “Thank you very much for that”.
*applause*
erdgeist: And this conference is a recurring yet unfortunately only
temporary installation. So we ask you to take the spirit of the Congress
back to your local hackerspace. And, well, establish or re-establish
weekly lectures to, well, make yourself mini congresses. Because those
hackerspaces are the Petri dishes for what’s going on here on the conference.
They provide the open space to teach, to learn and to communicate.
Geraldine: Yes, so over the last years, over the last decades even we have all
broadened our cultural contexts. And we believe that now we have a serious chance
to pass on all that we’ve created, and all that we’ve learned for ourselves
to new generations. All that we’ve just spoken about. Exploring how learning
can be fun. Creating blueprints for how to exchange with one another.
We’ve created a lot. But all this greatness also comes at a price.
erdgeist: Well, we’ve all had our history of being bullied, of being bullied for
wanting to learn. For not being mainstream and for having interests that were
not so prominent at that time. But I think we meddled through, and we made it
so far. And I’m really proud of the community, what they’ve achieved
and not what they were in the beginning.
Geraldine: We have to acknowledge that we’re not the underdogs that we
used to be anymore. 15 years ago you were special if you knew how to use a computer.
Nowadays you’re special if you don’t. And those people need our help!
It’s us, we are becoming mainstream. And whilst it is happening we believe it’s
really important that we lead by example. And do not become the bullies ourselves
but embrace new and old generations, to pass on what we’ve learned.
erdgeist: And to be honest…
*applause*
concerning the cryptographic applications out there:
we hackers just had a head start, that’s all.
The current sorry state of cryptography we have been left in by…
by design that was broken. By negligence or… yeah, by design.
We – given the chance – would never build the cryptography the way it is right now.
So I think we can’t blame others not to get it. Seriously,
we hackers should stop being so smug about it.
*applause* And I, for my part apologize
for the annoying CA-Cert situation.
It’s been a cool project over the years, using that cert. But
right now it’s preventing more communication than it’s securing. So I’m…
*applause* I’m looking forward to the summer of 2015
because the Letsencrypt project will make deploying certs and encrypting
much easier. And in the summer of 2015 there will also be a new Camp! Yay!
*applause*
Geraldine: As you know the Camp is going to be an amazing playground.
There’s gonna be a lake, there are going to be forests, there’s an old factory
that used to burn the lime stones that Berlin was built up with. So we hope you’re all
gonna come and join us there. Bring a tent! And because this gisn be in the
far out, dark skirts of Brandenburg that even folk songs warn you about:
bring some food, too! *laughter*
erdgeist: I recommend everyone to connect. Connect outside with the ‘Seidenstrasse’.
It will be huge on the camp site! In a much larger scale. So take a good look
at how you can connect to the ‘Seidenstrasse’ installment.
I would recommend connecting to one of those assemblies out there. Because
the assemblies were modeled after the Villages on the last camp, and will
of course be the seats for the new Village. So go connect and try to see
if you can go with some of the Villages to the Camp next year.
Geraldine: Yes, and of course it’s – like we said – gonna be one big party as well.
And there’s gonna be a lot of great work being done. But there’s gonna be a lot of
celebration being done, too. Because as is true with any revolution it is true for our
digital one as well: if I can’t dance to it it’s not mine! So we have embraced
the electronic music scene a long time ago. And of course it’s an integral part
of the Camp and Congress today.
*applause*
“Spass am Gerät!” So I think now… now about ready to open the show properly
with our first Keynote speaker. I hope you’re all familiar with him. If it’s like
for instance from the 30C3 triumphal hymn. *single cheer from audience*
erdgeist: It’s our most prominent Audio Angel, I think. Incidentally, Geraldine
and I met him for the first time on May 1st of 1999. Around the same time
we were starting to hang around close to CCC. And there he was playing on that
infamous scheduled riots in Berlin.
Geraldine: So, yeah. So now we’d like to ask you all to give a really, really big
warm welcome to…
Geraldine and erdgeist: ALEC EMPIRE!
*applause and some cheers*
*subtitles created by c3subtitles.de in the year 2017. Join, and help us!*