*electronic music*
*applause*
Herald: Welcome to 32c3!
Unfortunately this is the last time I am gonna say this
I feel honored to present you
Carina and Linus with the closing event.
Linus: To be fair,
nobody wants to do the closing event.
You want to start?
Carina: Especially not us.
L: So, we want to recapitulate on some of the ideas
that we had for this event.
And the first question I would like to ask is:
Who of you complied with the 6-2-1 principle?
*laughter*
C: He didn't.
L: I didn't.
C: But it is quite some of you. I'm proud.
So, great. Your little special effects. Just blew the show.
Not much sleep.
I think that's the main problem for the most of us.
At least I really could use some more.
And, to one of the reasons for so little sleep,
which we all got,
is that some of you really
appreciated our new concept for the bathrooms
and saw the possibilities in that:
Toilet parties!
*applause*
This is something just possible, if you don't have
gender based toilets.
*applause*
*music*
At this toilet party they also had these nice glowing massage sticks, I think.
It was really amazing, I hope lots of you enjoyed there and partied there.
At least for a little while, because it was really hot.
L: You know at C3 events, there is one rule, that has never been changed and that is:
Before you take a picture, please ask people for consent.
And for several years now, we have somebody here that is constantly being asked for consent,
to take a picture with his camera of people.
And that is one of the little highlights from my end of this event.
*applause*
C: Something which happens at congresses with this size,
is people lose their stuff.
Audience: It's a person!
C: It's a person?
OK, that's something we didn't knew and I think most people not,
because everybody was thoughting:
Who lost his shoes?
*laughter*
So, I wanna say, if you're missing stuff
you still can go to the info desk, there's a lost and found
you can grab you stuff there
They will be there after the closing event
for a little while afterwards.
All the stuff goes to the logistics area.
So perhaps your friend is also there. Some people brought him there.
*laugher*
But as we thought shoes is not the only thing that went missing.
There is also this.
*laugher*
Audience: Same person
C: Same person! Seriously?! OK!
L: I wouldn't recognise. I wouldn't recognise.
C: Yes, so if you miss something, coming back to
the serious part,
go to the info desk and ask if they found it there.
It much easier to give it back from here than to have to ship it
somewhere all through the world
Audience: Do they have IP packets?
L: They have some IP packets left, but you must prove
that it is yours and not spoofed.
*laughter* *applause*
You came up with a couple of challenges among them a challenge to every CERT angel.
That I witnessed last night!
*laughter*
C: I think this goes without more say.
L: And you remember our little challenge.
We have not prepared a price, because we wouldn't think, that anybody would be able
to print this.
And the way it is, it was impossible.
You see the fleeting lines somewhere and I think
3D printing is just not there yet.
But I think there is somebody in the audience that would like to
present their attempt in 3D printing the logo.
*applause*
*raging applause*
L: Congratulations Obelix!
C: Congratulations! Really nice.
L: I need to buy you a beer, or something. I really didn't think,
that anybody would be that crazy.
*laughter*
It took 18 hours to print that thing.
And that was the time and effort tradeoff to make
it until 7 today, so it would be here
for the closing ceremony.
C: We brought you the whole video.
*applause*
I don't know, exists there a whole video for somebody,
who wants to enjoy the whole thing?
L: I don't know.
C: Something we also talked about at the opening was the angels.
I heard, that when we showed you the logo and
especially the URL,
they had a peak on their webserver.
Very nice.
In total we had, can you give me the number,
1350 active angels
*raging applause*
These angels did more than 15000 work hours up to now
*applause*
I am really proud to say that we topped
the number from last year.
Like I wished at the opening.
What I learned afterwards, is that already during the opening, we had topped
the number from last year.
applause
So, unluckily it was not our nice speech which brought all of you,
but already you yourself signed up, who signed up early. Very nice.
Yes, but, even if congress comes to an end and this is the closing it is not over.
There's still a lot to clean up in the whole house.
So, please if you go out here, help where ever you can.
You don't need to be an angel for that.
Just ask where you can help, pick up stuff, collect things, there's really much to do.
And everyone from us wants to finish early, so that we can go to the after party tonight.
L: One little request from the clean up team please don't just help in a way that
you think you're helping.
*laugher*
Please ask at heaven, what exactly it is, that you could help with.
So now
We're going to do a little exercise.
C: No, no sports!
L: No sports! (laughing)
*applause*
We are going to take a little mental trip.
And I want you to now be totally silent.
Close your eyes.
And lean back in your chair.
I still hear noise.
And now you slowly breathe in,
and then breathe out,
and again breathing in,
and out.
In front of your inner eye
you see the chaos.
And you release the tension from your left leg
and you release the tension from your right leg
and you breath in
and out.
C: Remember,
when you first arrived at CCH
and Fairy Dust was there.
Waiting for you.
L: Remember,
when you saw that talk, you had been waiting for
all the time.
C: Remember,
when you did not get into the talk, you wanted to see
had to watch a different one. And it was so awesome.
L: Remember,
when you first met someone,
you only knew from the interwebz.
C: Remember,
when you had your first tasty drink in the lounge.
L: Remember,
when you were getting ready to leave, met someone and suddenly
the sun came up again.
C: Remember,
when you had two hours of sleep, one meal
and six showers.
*laugher*
L: Remember,
when you learned something, that you thought, that you would never understand.
C: Remember,
when you saw the joy in the eye of a little kid,
that was soldering a robot.
L: Remember,
when you finally found that awesome sticker, you had been searching for all day long.
C: Remember,
when you saw all the cool children toys and were jealous,
because they were all used by children.
*laughter*
L: Remember,
that funny shirt, that one person wore.
C: Remember,
when you took an involuntary nap during a lecture.
L: Remember,
all the inspiring, funny, thoughtful, and nonsense
conversations.
and now, please, take the feeling
you have right now
and keep it in your heart
as an infinite source of energy.
C: And now, we want you to release this energy
to thank everybody, not only for their work at congress
but also throughout the years.
L: On the count of three
let us ecstatically cheer and applaud so loudly
that Lemmy Kilmister raises from the dead to compain about the fucking noise.
*laughter*
C and L: one
two
three
*raging applause*
*laughter*
*applause*
*electronic music*
Female narrator: [German] Die Digitalisierung durchdringt unsere Gesellschaft
und die Nutzung informationstechnischer Systeme und des Internets
schreiten unaufhörlich voran.
Das bietet neue Chancen, schafft Freiräume
und ermöglicht Synergien.
Das Netz beeinflusst unser gesamtes öffentliches und privates Leben.
Über Branchengrenzen hinweg
sind mehr als die Hälfte aller Unternehmen in Deutschland
vom Internet abhängig.
Male narrator: [German] All diese Einrichtungen oder Firmen
könnten gehackt werden.
*electronic music*
Male narrator: [German] Die Gefahr von Hacking ist aktueller denn je.
De Maiziere: [German] Und dann bräuchte ich mal 'ne Krisen-Nummer von Ihnen.
Third male narrator: [German] Ja, und warum?
De Maiziere: [German] Ja, um da anzurufen.
*electronic music*
Fourth male narrator: [German] Ich vertraue meinem Provider nicht.
Ich vertrau, ich vertrau dem Anbieter nicht. Ich vertrau dem Staat nicht. Aber ich änder' mein Verhalten nicht.
Male narrator [German] (mixed): Das ist definitiv gefährlich.
Ich vertrau Safe Harbor nicht. Ich vertrau meinem Airbag nicht.
Ich vertrau dem Chaos Computer Club nicht.
De Maiziere: Und ehrlich gesagt, dass nenn ich sorglos.
Maassen: Wir sind ein attraktiver Arbeitgeber
Male Narrator: Warum?
Maassen: in manchen Bereichen unseres Hauses, kann man all das machen,
was man schon immer machen wollte, aber man ist straflos.
Zum Beispiel Telekommunikations-Ueberwachung.
Narrator: Herr Range hat eine Pressekonferenz einberufen und in der hat er gesagt,
dass der Justizminister unerträglich in die Unabhängigkeit der Justiz eingegriffen hat.
Das kann man auch übersetzen in den Satz,
Bitte entlassen Sie mich in den Ruhestand, Herr Justizminister.
De Maiziere: Dann bräuchte ich dann mal 'ne Krisen-Nummer von Ihnen.
Male narrator: Ja und warum?
De Maiziere: Ja, verstehen Sie bitte, dass ich darauf
keine Antwort geben möchte.
Male narrator: Warum?
De Maiziere: Ein Teil dieser Antworten würde die Bevölkerung verunsichern.
*electronic music*
De Maiziere: Lassen Sie es mich an einem Beispiel sagen:
Sie können ein sicheres Auto haben, mit Airbag
Sie können sich anschnallen
Sie können sich an die Verkehrsregeln halten,
wenn Sie aber trotzdem sorglos fahren, produzieren Sie einen Unfall.
De Maiziere: Und dann bräuchte ich dann mal
'ne Krisen-Nummer von Ihnen.
*applause*
Herald: [German] Mit einem lachenden und einem weinenden Auge sage ich
vielen Dank für dieses tolle Closing Event.
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